March 15, 2010

2 years ago today…wow. How time goes by so quickly. It seems like yesterday Mom and I were just in hot Arizona laying out by the pool. 2 years ago today, God called Mom home.

Mom had a long and happy life up until the problems she encountered with PAD (blood clotting) in both legs. After retiring from working with the State of California for more than 25 years, she moved to Las Vegas. There, she began working as a volunteer for 8 years at the Veterans Hospital. Every year, the VA had special Christmas programs where the employees couldn’t wait to hear Mom sing. And boy could she sing! While at the VA, she earned volunteer of the year award year after year. She made a lasting impression in the lives of many during her time at the VA.

After working with the VA, Mom was hired with the Las Vegas Police Department as a Crossing Guard! You would not want to be speeding in her zone, because she would tell you off with her whistle!!! Her stop sign was bigger than she was…she was only 4′ 11”! Ironically, she patrolled the crosswalk right in front of her house, so I would get some good entertainment every morning and afternoon when I visited her there! All the kids and parents in the neighborhood we like family to her…and she knew every kids’ name!!! Wow!

When Mom began having problems with her legs, I decided to move her to Arizona with me. We had so many wonderful memories, including season ticket holders for the Arizona Cardinals! Everywhere we went, she got special treatment…because she was a special lady.

Today, I celebrate Mom‘s life. I will spend some time at one of her favorite fishing hole’…Miller Park. But I’m sure God has a better fishing hole where she can catch fish all day long.

“Grams”
8-31-1937 – 3-15-2008

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douchebag-refill (plural douchebag-refills)

1. (US, slang) An uber-jerk; a mean or the dumbest mother fucker youve seen in a while.

   That douchebag-refill stole Taylor Swifts moment!!

   Why doesn’t that man admit that he likes fat girls? He’s a fucking douchebag-refill.

So, we already use the word “douchebag” to refer to an idiot. But what do you can an idiot that just takes being an idiot too far?
What do you calll an asshole who yells stupid shit at the president during a speech? What do you call a young and washed up hoe who jumps on stage with two of the greatest performers of our time just because she wants some “shine”? What do you call a local rapper who’s ego is way too overinflated, and thinks he’s gods gift to women when the TRUTH is; those women are laughing behind his back?
What do you call someone who just refuses to take the hint that he/she needs to get a life?

and…what do we call THIS guy who left this comment on mi blog (click to read mi response, its too funny):

Thats right folks, we call these people douchebag-refills! You can thank mi for that word, as i came up with it when i saw some stupid shit the other day. please use it as you see fit!

-=t=-

say what you want about Michael. you know Katt Williams had no problem doing so (and it was damn funny). and though some saw him as a predator, a weirdo, bonkers (BBC), etc.. we can all agree on one thing; he was brilliant. one of the most popular and recognizable musicians of our time!
i remember mi aunt making mi learn the entire dance routine from Thriller. i remember the feeling i got seeing Mike play The Scarecrow in The Wiz, and mi daughter now knows that feeling as well. i remember the kids in mi hood wanted to be like Michael Jackson in one way or another…

Rest in Peace, brother Michael. There will NEVER be another performer like you.

well, he didnt happen to have the coupons and was at the studio, which was miles from where i was. yet, i was starving and more than willing to pay for lunch, so off i went to what is probably the worst KFC in sacramento .

anyway, i get back to the studio and crack open the plastic pod containing the processed, cloned meal…but when i sink mi teeth into the cloned flesh;  an unfamiliar ball of anger sweeps up through mi torso, a small village burns to the ground, and an innocent man is lynched in Alabama. as sure as mi mother is light skinned, this was THE most disgusting shit i have ever slid across mi teeth! in fact, i couldnt even swallow it, and promptly spit the meatwads out!of course i was pissed off cause i was so damn hungry, and ended up trying to fill up on the side dishes (corn and wedges).  i should have known better though, they had previously offended mi with that original recipe chicken strip bullshit….gaaaah!

I couldn’t play peewee football, because you tried to kill mi on the field. I couldn’t skateboard for an extended amount of time, because there you were, helping mi fall down handrails and big sets of stairs. you tried again when I broke mi ankle, and I sat in the ER getting fitted for a cast and taking a breathing treatment. I can’t even fuck for hours like I used to, cause there you are, cock blocking as usual.

nowadays, you see mi getting older and you see a bigger window of opportunity to murder mi. I know I’m not the young ninja that I once was. so everywhere I go, there you are. youve become so ambitious lately, i have had to quit smoking just to appear invisable to you! youve tried to kill mi 3 times this week! damn you!!

tell you what; I have a daughter now, and she’s unaware of your attempts to kill her Father. please don’t try to harm mi little girl like you’ve harmed mi all these years. let’s keep this between you and mi. if you can agree to leave her alone, I will finally let you take mi life. deal?

While I would like to go on and give you a full-on review about the storyline, direction and soundtrack, I am distracted..as I was somewhat distracted during the feature presentation.
Black people in theaters. What the hell.

Why is it that we still act SO outta pocket whenever there is a “black” movie? I mean, I ENJOI watching previews of upcoming movies and it puts a big damper on mi experience when G-Locc and his band of hoodrats walks in, sits right in front of us (as Im PRAYING for them not to see the empty row in front of mi), and begins disturbing the peace. The big-weaved hoodrat sitting directly in front of mi begins talking on her phone…loudly! “Yeah girl, we just got here….what? Notorious. Yeah girl….Shit, if they hungry, theres some Cheerios on top of the fridge…well, beat they ass then…”. I can somewhat forgive this, as I already expect nigguhs to act this way at the movies. Its a given. But the bitch stands up, and is still talking on her fuckin phone, like we WANT to hear her punkass conversation!!! gaaaaaah!

Then of course, we are on the westcoast. So when the movie covers the 2Pac and Biggie “beef”, you can hear echoes of hecking throughout the theater! Nigguhs yellin “west side, nigguh” and “fuck east coast!”. The hoodrats phone rings again. I sink lower in mi seat.

Some things never change. In this case; black people nigguhs in theaters will never change. One may think that since Obama is the HNIC, we should be inspired to change our ways. No. Nigguhs will never change. You can still expect us to be late to important engagements, you can still count on us to turn parties out due to fights or shootings, and wherever we go – expect strong police presence.

I guess it could have been worse. There were no fights or shootings, there was no one smokin weed in the back row, and I only heard about 14 cell phones ring. Baaah, fuck it.

*throws skittles at the front row*

this morning, mi friendfeed caught a link submitted by marshal sandler that i thought i would share with yall. its a pretty cool site/script call Wordle. with this fun tool, users can create word clouds similar to tag clouds that are beautifully or randomly generated by either typing a bunch of random words or by entering a url with rss or atom. you can print the clouds or save them to the wordle gallery and share with the homies. the pic above shows a cloud i made by typing in mi url. i called it “in a nutshell”.

if you have some time on your hands, go check it out. its awsome and fun!

]]> http://www.tofu916.com/words/wordle-user-generated-word-clouds-sweet/feed/ 1 http://www.tofu916.com/words/there-goes-mi-hero-watch-her-as-she-goes/ http://www.tofu916.com/words/there-goes-mi-hero-watch-her-as-she-goes/#comments Mon, 12 May 2008 06:08:32 +0000 admin http://2066699117 mi mom was about 16 when she got preggo with mi. she carried mi across the stage to receive her diploma. she put alot of her life on hold for mi. she could have done so many different things. shes a SMART woman.

all mi life, it was just her and i. i wanted a new keyboard every year for mi bday, and this woman would work extra hours just so she could afford a friggin lil casio for mi. this woman worked TWO jobs, and i still complained and threw fits.

as a teenager, i was such a ungrateful asshole. i was a rude, smartmouth kid who was too popular for his own good. and ooooooooooh shit, how full of miself i was! however, mi mom was always in mi corner. she fought the school board tooth-and-nail to keep them from expelling mi (when i stabbed that kid). she even moved outta the greater city and bought her first house where i would be closer to school, as i couldnt go to any school in the district. all she expected was BETTER of mi.

so it really didnt surprize mi when she sold mi bed when i was 16. i had been sellin dope, and turned down the scholarship offered to mi. she STILL gave mi mi 1st car before i moved to Long Beach with mi GF.  when i was hospitalized, guess who would visit & call mi? mi mom was, and always will be mi hero.

nowadays; ma is the glue that holds the family 2gether (i dare ANYONE to challenge that). when our family members are in need (which is quite often), mi ma is right there to offer what she can. she has provided bail, she has paid rents, she has paid off debts, she has saved LIVES, she has provided protection to/from certain people. im TELLIN you, mi mom is the bomb! from about 2003 til her death; mom took great care of mi grandmother. grandma never had to worry about anything. she had A1 health care, and she didnt even have to spend her own money. when i feel like lashing out at the [haters], mom is there to say, “c’mon tof. be bigger than that. i KNOW theyre pissing you off, but let them have their way. thats how you win in the end“. and honestly, sometimes i need that. she hasnt been wrong yet.

i had to make it clear to everyone in mi lil speech at mi grandmas funeral just how important mi mom is to our family.  i could never pay mi mom back for all of her unconditional LoVe and support. so mi aim is to make her proud of mi. even if i never make a nomination, if she wants a seat at the grammies – she’ll have it. and it would be the very least i could do.

so ma – im sorry for putting you through hell as a kid, i thank you for being there for mi, thanks for being mi bestfriend, thanks for being in mi corner when you KNEW i was wrong, thanks for takin care of grandma, and thanks for being an inspiration to us all. i was talkin to old school homies the other day about “bosses” and one said “but nigguh, TOFU’s mom is a got damn BOSS, and always has been!” it made mi blush, cause its so true.

i LoVe you, mom. there will never be another YOU! =o)